Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Congested:

I came across this blog post that I wrote a while back, in March and never published it, and its amazing to see how my previous post compares to this one. Enjoy :)

"My mind is everywhere but where it needs to be.

I feel completely congested, congested with thoughts, an overflowing amount of thoughts. My social, personal and academic life consists of nonstop movement, constantly going, attending, learning and being proactive about things. Ive grown accustomed to its crazyness and the beautiful perks of it but then ... (theres always a big but) your happy go lucky ass trips, falls and your left face down kissing the pavement.

Thats exactly where I am today, kissing pavement, ...tripped, fell and crashed. From family issues, to future plans, to end of the semester academic pressure, my head is in so many places right now, i rather just detach it and go headless. I much rather be out shopping, or in my bed reading an inspirational book, or even with my close-knit group of girls, gossiping, chatting and laughing it up in my apartment than in this library getting a whole lot of work done (insert line face here). Better yet, can someone take me back to Miami where I had no worries except whether I was getting a call a cab from Wet Willies or a 190 Octane from Fat Tuesdays. Ahhh - the lifeeeeee.

A little venting to de-congest. I'll be back with normal Dar soon."

I'm Hungry, .... but not for food .

Reflecting back on my life these past couple of months, I feel like I had a fast pass, front row seat ride on the King Da Kha rollercoaster and rode that bad boy until it's wheels came off. From personal family losses, to feelings of overlwhelmedness, to academic problems, to an excessive amount of stress, to question marks about my future, if my middle name was "Soft" I would have chucked up the deuces and moved to Zinbabwe just to run away from it all.
Nonetheless, five months later, my senior year of college is officially over and I'm still standing strong and moving forward.

But, wait, ... pause, ... how can I not move forward and triumph with such a strong, incredible support system by my side? I'm not big on expressing my feelings of defeat but when the people around you are doing nothing but positive, fabulous, uplifting things in their life, closing the door and throwing in your life towel becomes a difficult task. Seeing my friends, family members, loved ones and sorors graduating and getting jobs allows me to bury all the doubt and fear of what's to come and gets me super hype and hungry for my future. Hungry isn't even the word to describe it because I have no single doubt in my mind that I won't be successful in my future endeavors. (<--- owwww, at my big word of the day lol)

If there's one thing I can take from my chaos I can truly say these rough couple of patches have opened my eyes to my passion in life, .... helping others, particularly our future youth. I was always focused on becoming a school counselor to guide children and aide them but due to the influence of a couple education courses I took this past semester as well as an academic flop (which I now see was for the better) I envision myself as a youth coordinator, an advocate, even a director for non profit organizations within inner city or urban communities. Perhaps, even building my own non profit organization in the future, promoting social change and empowering our youth. (something a little like this http://www.genv.net/ or this wemakedreamswork.org .

All in all, this post is just to send a little ray of sunshine for the ones full of fear, doubt, sadness, and regret.“There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.” -Douglas H. Everett

Some insightful sites on building your dreams and taking action:
1. http://www.pushydreamers.com/
2. raevenwestern.com
3. akuatheactivator.blogspot.com

-Dar ♡